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Don't Do It!

If you don't want people reading your cell phone messages, don't leave your phone charging in the break area. People are natural snoops.

If you don't want people all-up-in-yo-bidniz about some personal issue, don't whine about it to everyone you know first, and talk with your boss about it privately second. People will gossip about you.

If you don't want people staring at your boobs or making jokes about your butt crack, put some damned clothes on! For heaven's sake, you know how people are.

It's not just working class folks, it's not just men, it's people in general: rich, educated, poor, church going, beer drinking, meat eating, vegetarian humans. Don't kid yourself--biologically, we are about one-half step away from crap eating gorillas. There is a fancy phrase for this kind of worldly wisdom: It is called skillful means. I just figure, if you don't want to get caught in a crap storm, stay out of the monkey cage!

The 100% Job Interview

If you want to ace that next job interview, I suggest you do it the easy way--by being 100% committed. Whether it is a job interview, or a marriage, being 100% committed is easier, much easier, than being half-in and half-out. If you are married, being "100% In" means you are not wasting time and energy thinking about other people because you will not be having a fling, a hook up or an affair. It's just not an option. For a job interview, it means giving 100% of your attention to the job at hand--making a good impression and learning about the new job.

To be 100% committed to an interview means you will, without a doubt, be there early. Using MapQuest.com, and spending $10 on a real map, and listening for traffic reports on the radio as you drive, and even getting there a full hour early (if you have any doubt about the travel time) is perfectly normal behavior for someone who is 100% committed to being at the interview early.

Being All In for your job interview means focusing on the people you meet. It includes, turning your cell phone off, not just the ringer, but the whole darned thing. If there is someone you love who is so ill that you feel you must keep your mobile phone on, you should probably ask to reschedule the interview. There is no other acceptable excuse for taking, or making, a personal call during a job interview. I know that if someone really wants to talk to me, they won't be taking phone calls, answering pages, text messaging or checking their e-mail.

If you are 100% committed to making a good impression, you will do your homework. It is perfectly normal for someone who is All In to look up the company they are visiting by name on ThomasNet.com. You might then search by product, and see if you can figure out who would be the company's closest competitors.  Being committed means dressing appropriately. Wear sneakers only if you will be working in shorts. Wear a three piece suit if you will be working in a profession like banking, insurance or education. Smart, 100% committed, job hunters don't just wear whatever is clean, they think about the impression they want to give and dress to impress.

Someone who is 100% committed to a job interview has the right attitude. I've seen the "I'm too good for this job" attitude in factory workers and vice presidents. Blue collar or white collar, that type of attitude looks boorish on anyone. When an interviewer is delayed by pressing business, someone who is committed to the interview will wait for them. Your time is not so valuable that you can't wait an extra hour while the personnel director or CEO handles a crisis.

Someone who is all-the-way committed to doing a job interview doesn't have any reason to beg or worry. As one of my work friends likes to say, "I needed a job when I started here, and I'll need a job when I leave." It's good to remember that most of the people interviewed will not be hired, so you might as well relax and have a good time. Take a chance and smile--it makes people wonder what you've been doing. Switch things up a little and ask the interviewer a couple of tough questions. Based on your skills and their needs, maybe you are interviewing for the wrong job. Your prospective employer will never know what you can do for them if you are so tense you can't make friends, smile and show them who you really are.

After all, a job interview is kind of like a blind date: if you aren't 100% committed to making a good impression while still being you, you might as well stay home. So I say, if you want to ace your next job interview, go All In, do it with 100% gusto, put every piece you've got into the game, lay your cards on the table, and see what the other player has in his hand. Life's a lot more interesting that way, and your odds of being hired are better too.

Is It Okay to Just-be-Happy at Work?

Would you like to just be happy at work? If you are like me, when you are on the job, you are hard working, diligent, focused and committed. But are we on our way to being committed when we work too hard? Is it ever okay to just relax, show up and do your job? Yes!

In college, I was a recreation leadership student. Our class motto was, “Let’s park and recreate!” Surprisingly, we were a very hard working lot. We worked hard to plan trips and activities that met the needs of our clients. We worked hard to make sure all the equipment was ready, the first aid kits were full, and that we had Plan B ready in case it rained (or, for some New England activities, for when it didn’t snow). As recreation leaders, when we “played,” we couldn’t relax because we were working. With a few more years on me, I don’t think life has to be that difficult.

You Think You've Got Problems? I'm Glad!

Have you got problems? Do you have LOTS of problems? Do you have so many problems you can’t see straight or sleep at night? Good! As soon as you recognize that you have problems, you are already standing on the road to solving them.

To really speed up finding solutions to your problem, you need to start walking with your problems, accept them, embrace them, love them, honor them, look ‘em in the eye and give those problems a big hug. Your problems truly reflect who you are, and the choices you’ve made in your life. I’m not saying you have to Keep all those problems, far from it, I’m just suggesting you stop ignoring them and say hello to your problems; then you can start saying goodbye to them.

You may not realize it, but people have been having problems for a while now. Brighter thinkers than yours truly have created some wonderful problem solving tools and techniques. Here are a few you can try:

The Number One Life Skill--Figuring Out What You Want

What do you want? It is not a hard question, but it can be a difficult life skill to master. It may be especially hard for the smart, hard working types who read this blog. Why? Because you can be good at anything! You read well, so you could work as a writer, speaker, sales person, seminar leader or manager. You know how to use the Internet to find what you want, so you could be an engineer, a scientist, a researcher, or an advocate for those who don’t have access to technology. Un-like several presidents and famous business leaders, you probably don’t have a long track record of failure that is pushing you to focus on doing the one thing, the only thing, you do well.

So, what do you want? What if you don’t know?

• Maybe it is good not to know what you want.
• Maybe you are much more satisfied than you think, and your main challenge is settling into your life, enjoying your family, putting a little money in an IRA or some government insured tax lien certificates.
• Maybe not knowing what you want is a good thing because it means the soil of your soul is deep and it takes a little while for seeds to grow there.
• Maybe you’ve got a redwood tree growing in the seed of your unconscious mind and that just takes time. After all, how many million-dollar ideas do you need to take care of your family?
• Maybe you just need some better questions. To get some better questions, check out Cindy Cashman’s "Question of the Week" here. Or maybe you need some inspiration. See what other people want, or share what you want at the funky cool website called 43things.com.

So, what do you want? More ways to find out.

Sit quietly more often. Turn off the radio or IPOD when driving or riding. Ask you friends what they think you want. Look at your past, and see what you’ve always been after. Think back to your childhood and remember what you wanted then.Think back and remember what you have always been naturally good at—ask yourself how you could make a living doing that (someone else is doing it right now). Sleep on it. Use your imagination to see how well you would fit in various future worlds. Or, maybe, you need to stop thinking about what you want and start thinking about what other people want. How could you make your spouse, your mother, your friend, your boss or your cat happy? Here's something to think about, what does the world want from you? What does the universe want for you?

So, what if what you want is bad for you?

Is there such a thing as Toxic Happiness? Could striving for happiness make you miserable? Getting the promotion, the big SUV, the new McMansion, the trophy wife has sure made lots of people unhappy. But so has staying poor because you wanted to be with your “friends.” So has enjoying a few to many beers every night.

I believe you could walk all the way from New York City to Shanghai, China, if that’s what you really wanted. It’s not the doing that’s difficult--it’s the knowing. It’s not how that’s hard--it’s why.Why should you invest your life in something unless it is what you truly want?

So, what do I want? I'll start with my family safe all around me and apple pie with ice cream for Thanksgiving.

The Paradox of Real Life

Paradox: Two seemingly opposite ideas that somehow fit together perfectly. For example, on the one hand, we are bound by Cause and Effect (we reap what we sow), on the other hand we have the Uncertainty Principle (life can change based solely on what we expect).

With cause and effect, we might say, "I'm poor because my parents were poor. I don't have any job skills because I don't know anyone who is a professional. I'll never have enough money because I never learned how to make money or handle money. I'm just doomed by my past." Go to jail--never get a good straight job again. Get fired--loose your house and family. Born rich--die rich.

The Uncertainty Principle tells us that if we think sunlight is made of waves, it will look like waves, and if we expect sunlight to be made out of particles, it will behave like particles. So, we might say, "Lots of people with crummy educations never make much money, but lots of them have successful careers. We don't know why some people from broken homes with alcoholic parents become bad parents themselves, but most of them muddle along fine, just like the rest of us." A diploma or degree, by itself, doesn't guarantee anything. Bad experiences: bankruptcy, rape, disease; can cripple a person, or make them stronger. It's hard to tell what will happen next.

Both concepts are completely true and are hard at work in the real world. Sometimes, cause and effect hits home hard. Sometimes, things change over night. Both options are possible in every moment. So I wonder:

• How do Cause and Effect and the Uncertainty Principle affect your life?
• Does it bug, or fill you with wonder, that they could both be true?
• Are you afraid things might change or grateful that they can?

Let me hear from you. Post your comments below.

Blue Collar Job Interview Tips

Before you can have a career, you've got to have a job. Not everyone is leaving Harvard and applying for residency at medical school. Lots of people are just looking for work. Sometimes, even that much can be difficult. Here are some basic job interview tips for anyone out job hunting.

Wear black shoes--not sandals, certainly not flip flops; not sneakers, or even black sneakers. There isn't a job in the Western world that you couldn't get in shiny, black shoes.

Bring your own damn pen! For goodness sake, in all the years I've seen people come in for job interviews, I'll bet not 1% of them brought their own pen. Just bringing something to write with puts you in the top 1% of all job applicants! If you spent $10 on a fancy pen, you would really stand out.