Living with Chronic Illness, Muscular Dystrophy, Periodic Paralysis, Celiac Disease, Migraine, Heart Disease, Diabetes

Gentle Pastimes

So many days are a struggle, I decided I needed an easy, gentle hobby to keep things light. So, I'm writing a book called, "Dogs I've Made: Seriously Silly Poems by Rodney Robbins." Here is one that's a bit more mysterious than silly, but I thought you might like it. See if you can tell me what this poem is about.

Charcoal

(c) 2010 by Rodney Robbins

Like a soft black wind with tender paws
Or a charging creature of the night with teeth
He bounds and slashes
Fear The Great Hunter

Or a charging creature of the night with teeth
Yet, sometimes he sleeps
Fear The Great Hunter
Gentle his touch and tender his caress

Yet, sometimes he sleeps
Till he wakes, groggy, lost in a world of giants
Gentle his touch and tender his caress
He only drinks running water

Till he wakes, groggy, lost in a world of giants
The Great Hunter is under attack
He only drinks running water
The enemy charges, too many, flee!

The Great Hunter is under attack
Defenseless, he shows his belly
The enemy charges, too many, flee!
Suck them in and rip them to shreds

Defenseless, he shows his belly
We live for combat
Suck them in and rip them to shreds
A job well done

We live for combat
The sun shines bright in the window
A job well done
Sleep now, little one, sleep in the sun

This form of poetry is called a pantoum. The rhythm is like gentle waves on the beach. I like them. Do you think you know what this poem is about? Use the "Comment" link below or write to Rodney Robbins here.

Sooner, Rather Than Later

(c) 2009 by Rodney Robbins

Sooner, rather than later,
I shall own one nice gray suit and wear it till it is threadbare.
During the week, I shall carry a cane and charm women who are much too young for me.
On the weekends, I shall squeeze into ridiculous leathers and ride my motorcycle.
When I look out over the mountains or the sea, I shall miss my wife very much.

Sooner, rather than later,
I shall be too weak to hold an honest job.
Instead, I shall do my best to corrupt the youth and shame the powerful.
For a holiday, I shall hunt for the world’s best chocolate.
When the migraine hits, I share swear to stop, and when I feel better … well.

Sooner rather than later,
I shall go walking on a cool morning and end up paralyzed in a public park,
Or choke on a glass of water and spit all over a very polite waiter with a funny nose.
When they take me to the hospital, I shall be short tempered with my doctors and
Do my best to sneak out before they accidentally kill me.

Sooner, rather than later,
It won’t matter much anymore what I want.
I shall be carried away, I hope, to a secret lake with swans and thunder clouds.
There will be a bonfire with monsters and lightning bugs but no mosquitoes.
A tall maiden with hair like running water will smile, and I shall sing for her.

For more about Rodney Robbins, click here.

"If Only" versus "What If?"

Chronic illness can affect not only how you feel and how you live, but also how you think. Sometimes it is smart to examine what's going on inside your head and see if there is a better way to approach your problems. Here as some examples.

If only I didn't have this stupid illness!
If only I wasn't so shaky all the time!
If only I could afford to buy my medicine!

What if I decide to enjoy life anyway?
What if I found the moments when I wasn't so shaky?
What if I there was a place to get my drugs for free?

If only someone understood me!
If only I could get some sleep!
If only my doctor wasn't such an idiot!

What if I no one ever understands me, and I have to accept myself as I am?
What if I learned to enjoy the darkness and the stillness of night?
What if I'm just as clueless as my doctors?

If only I could clear my head!
If only the pain was a little less!
If only I could keep a job!

What if I listened to what my fuzzy head is telling me?
What if I stopped doing things that I know make me sore?
What if I thought of taking care of myself as my second job?
What if I could accept that life is harder now?
What if it there was some way to dwell happily in life as it is?

I'm not discounting how bad your life can be--I know that sometimes life sucks, I mean it really bites big, bad monkey turds--but SOME of what we go through when we live with chronic illness, is drama we bring on ourselves. We make things worse how by the way we look things.

Think of it this way: Almost any horse looks better from the front.

Tears, Not Unexpected

Tears, Not Unexpected
by Rodney Robbins

Sometimes the sadness comes
not unexpected, but not expected
today.
The tears build up,
over time,
slowly,
one tear at a time
till they spill out and roll silently down,
down
into ...
sleep?

Perhaps.
Perhaps sleep is best for tears.
Perhaps shoulders are better,
or hugs.
Needing a hug is not unexpected, but not expected 

today.

(C) 2008 by Rodney Robbins